This year, well, the last two years have been interesting to say the least. I’ve found a lot of comfort in the story that is told about the farmer and his son that I first read in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior and have done my best to stop seeing things as good or bad, but just as they are. If I’ve learned anything in my almost 45 years on this planet, it’s that everything is constantly evolving so don’t get too comfortable. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised, so you might as well do your absolute best to stay in the present moment. Don’t miss the sunset because you’re focused on the barbed wire.
This last year has probably been the most challenging and specifically, these last few months. Since my early thirties, I’ve consistently begun to experience loss of loved ones, but someone left this planet in July that will forever change me. I may get into the details of this sometime, but for now I’ll be somewhat vague out of respect for the others whom have been affected by this person’s loss. While only a part of our lives for a little more than a year, we all cared deeply for this soul and sometimes caring deeply also means tough boundaries. Setting boundaries for personal health is imperative, but so is loving [self] awareness. Sometimes we never truly understand the impact we make on other souls – good or bad – and this recent experience has taught me this more than anything else in my life, thus far.
Our responses to our environment are really the only things within our control. We can’t control other people or their decisions to do or not do things. We can walk someone to the door, but we can’t make them walk through it. We can have the best of intentions, but when we allow our ego to react rather than our soul to respond, we open ourselves up to a myriad of unnecessary drama. One of the problems is that most of us are addicted to the drama AND we have a negative bias through our ancestral conditioning. Why else do we crave that trending Netflix drama series and stalk all those comments on the controversial social media posts? Do you really think that getting into commenting debates or sharing that funny-to-you, yet sarcastic, meme intended to underhandedly poke at the person who’s beliefs are different than yours actually matters? Do you know the actual definition of sarcasm? Look it up.
It’s your thoughts that matter. Your intent that matters. Your VIBE matters. Being able to step over that pile of shit rather than in it and love people through their immature egos and their screaming inner children jonesing for attention and acceptance will feel better in the end. FUCKING TRUST ME, PLEASE. I may never know if my reaction to a poorly-timed laughing emoji response on a post could have made the difference in someone’s life. That is a burden I don’t wish on anyone. I’m still shifting the weight of it so it’s easier to carry. I put it down sometimes, but pick it back up sometimes, too.
After several weeks of pulling it together, resting and leaning on friends for laughs and support, I’ve become ready to get a little more vulnerable, speak some of my truths and hopefully inspire others to do the same. I feel that is where true human connection is – getting comfortable with really seeing one another and being SEEN. We can be loving without sacrificing our values or personal boundaries. We can tolerate those who are different from us and see the world through different lenses. Clearly, we have all had a variety of life experiences that form how we perceive life. Like the story of the farmer – it’s not necessarily good or bad, it just is. It is possible and just takes practicing self control, thought redirection and self love. And, there are ALL kinds of tools out there to help us do this.
Like many of you, I’m also sometimes still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. LOL! I have been a licensed massage therapist for nearly 20 years and still absolutely love my work. I’ve been a life coach for a couple of years now and am just now actively seeing coaching-only clients as opposed to the coaching I often do in some massage sessions. Now, I’m excited to promote an online store to expand my reach, especially now that I have a new awareness of the world around me and our purpose – to love one another and be happy.
Thank you for continuing to follow my sporadic posts. Sometimes I get brave and bold and then other times, I fear the judgment and recluse. Today, I’m embracing the concept ‘Stop Shrinking Yourself to Make Others More Comfortable‘. And, perhaps you will feel empowered to follow my lead, lean into authenticity and step into your truth.
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