Addiction and Addictive Behavior

Whew….this is a monster for me. Where do I even begin? My first sip of beer was at age four and even then, I had an awareness of what it felt like to be the life of the party, making people laugh and smile. I remember that feeling good.

Wow, did I just write that? I guess so. I’ve had awareness of substances and their impact on human behavior since I was young, but it wasn’t until about a decade ago that I began to realize different human behavior patterns based on emotional addiction.

We all have that friend, right? The one who always has something dramatic happening, the saga, the ‘you’re never gonna believe this’ story. If you don’t have that friend, you might be that friend. I know because I have been that friend before and do my best to remain aware these days and continue to stop a generational curse of being addicted to the emotional highs and lows and life. The more I’ve learned these last few years about energy and consciousness, the more I’ve become aware of how I have been attracting situations that create emotional highs and lows to react to.

Not putting my relationship with myself first was also causing me to look outside of me for all the external validation I needed to feel good and that I mattered. Social media does not help this issue in our society. Every like and complimentary comment become hits of dopamine and then it feels life shattering when a not-so-complimentary comment comes through, driving further emotional push and pull.

Our inner children are always with us! And, they REALLY come out to play when we have sandbox scuffles. The sooner we cultivate these inner relationships, the more comfortable life will become and the easier we will be on each other, showing more grace and compassion.

We always have a choice.

Recently, an opportunity presented itself to exercise the tools I am constantly giving clients. It’s very easy to get caught up in the roller coaster and even want to ride it for a while. That adrenaline rush of hormones that make us feel some kind of way, especially if it’s someone you’re close to. As the old phrase goes, we’re harder on the ones we love. It’s easy, especially in text communication these days, to quickly spout off a message in reaction to another message, all of which are probably using quite different tone of voice, if actually spoken.

Breathe. Feel into your body rather than just reacting. While this may not be something you were taught as a child, like me, you CAN learn how to listen to your body and choose how to respond. The alternative, reacting because your emotions made you do it…therefore, not in control of yourself.

Once we begin to have the self-awareness it takes to know when we are literally out of control, that’s when we begin conscious choice — in ALL things.

What are some things you’re assuming about the interaction that are making you feel the way you do?

What are some clarifying questions you can ask that may help you better understand the interaction and how the energy feels?

What filters might you be using to see this situation through?

Who does this belong to?

Did you know that most of what we feel doesn’t even come from us? One of the best and easiest tools of Access Consciousness that I use, and many of my clients are now using with great success, is when you begin to feel some kind of way – the energy just feels kinda heavy – ask ‘Who does this belong to?’, then notice how your body feels.

Does it feel light? Okay, it’s not yours. Simply say, RETURN TO SENDER! and send it on it’s way back to where it came from. It doesn’t matter where or who, you aren’t required to know this. A friend recently shared a Shaolin Monk’s analogy with me about this concept and it makes sooo much sense! Look at it like this…

If a person gives you a gift and you choose not to receive the gift, where does the gift then go? Back to the sender, right? Okay, so by that same principal, if you are in receipt of energy you don’t choose [that you didn’t want or ask for] and you simply return it to sender….it will go back to the sender.

Does it still feel heavy? Okay, dig a little deeper and maybe ask some more questions to identify the energy and clear it out. Then just POD & POC it!

Utilizing self-awareness and these tools, I was able to release what wasn’t mine, take ownership for what was and provide an apology where it was due and move forward with more ease in my day. It’s quite empowering to accept what’s yours, but release the things and situations that you didn’t give consent to enter your energy field to begin with. The more and more we practice these tools, the easier and more natural it becomes.

Give yourself [and others] grace.

Addiction to our emotions and the chemical responses that happen in our bodies is similar to quitting substance abuse. The natural inclination to the behavior and chemical responses WILL be there. However, after more practice and once your central nervous system begins to regulate, you will begin to be naturally level and mostly calm throughout your day. You’ll soon wonder how you managed to operate from such a chaotic place before. And, you’ll also begin to see it in others more easily.

Give them grace. Most of us do these quirky things because of our childhood traumas and unmet emotional needs. It’s up to us to heal ourselves. Nobody will do this for us. Just like it’s not your responsibility to heal your mother’s trauma that causes the weird push and pull emotional dynamic between you, it’s also not your child’s, your husband’s, your best friend’s, your cousin’s….you get the idea…it’s not their responsibility to heal yours.

Stop blaming someone else and begin to take control of your life.

It begins with self awareness.

So, if you notice yourself judging someone, choose awareness and ask what within you are you judging so easily.

Love you! Thanks for reading. 🙂